After spending most of yesterday fever-free and bored, Charlie woke up at 5:15 am crying because his nose was stuffy.  I hadn’t had enough coffee yet so for a moment I thought maybe he had strep throat because we ALWAYS have strep throat, just not usually this early.  But then he rallied and got dressed and went happily off to school, where he lasted until 1:00.  By then, he was running a 102 degree fever again, and his teacher called me to come get him.

Awesome.

We went out to the pediatrician (after I had to wait twenty minutes on hold to even talk to a nurse and THEN had to valet park because the construction at the heart hospital has eaten up all the parking spaces).  The nice nurse swabbed his throat and reported that no, he does not have strep, which is really kind of a bummer because now we’re left just riding out the virus.  Motrin and ice water!  And a martini for Mommy!

Oh except we’re all out of booze.  Damn.

That would all be fine, of course, except for this: Henry got up at 5:00 am with a bout of diarrhea that has lasted ALL DAY LONG and has been punctuated by long spells of hysterical crying and assertions that he is going to THROW UP RIGHT NOW (he has not yet thrown up, nor do I think he’s going to, although we had a very bad moment on the way home from school when I seriously though I might have to pull over and let him hurl in the neighbor’s yard because NOT IN MY CAR SON FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY).  In between the crying and pooping he has been sleeping, which was nice since he was home from school all day.

Let me say it again: HOME ALL DAY.

Tomorrow, they will both be home, because no one will be 24 hours away from the last incident of fever or poop.  But by the time we’re 24 hours out and no longer contagious, I may very well be dead.

I am in my workout clothes, which I put on at 5:00 am this morning when I got up to make coffee and lunches because OF COURSE everyone was going to go to school today and I would have time to exercise and shower after I dropped them off.  Also go to the grocery because we are out of EVERYTHING.  I ate salt and vinegar potato chips for dinner.  Does that count as a vegetable?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.  Damn.