Oh, Internet, I owe you an apology — you’re so nice to me, and how do I repay you? By vanishing for weeks on end. Okay days on end. Whatever.

I’m out of here until after the new year — I have kids to play with and house guests to clean up after and iPhones to buy and learn to use.

Happy New Year, Internet. I love each and every one of you. Come back next week for stories of Christmas joy, like how Henry ate turkey and Charlie has stopped wearing underwear.

I’m sure you can hardly wait.