November 29, 2007

I would say I am more devious than crafty

Henry and Charlie are having a little Christmas pageant at school in a couple of weeks. The program is called “Wriggly Nativity” and involves some Wiggles-style singing and dancing. For weeks now, they have been singing the songs and doing the dance moves together, which makes my cold dead heart melt a little because there is nothing cuter than kids hollering a song about camels. And dancing! So cute.

The kids need little costumes for this extravaganza, nothing fancy, just a tee shirt and a simple headpiece. The tee shirt part is easy (hello, SuperTarget!) but the headpiece has been making me a little nervous. Especially since Henry is a chicken — yes, you heard me a CHICKEN — and Charlie is a star. When I first heard about the chicken, I panicked a little because holy hell what does a CHICKEN wear in the Christmas pageant? How do I make a CHICKEN headpiece?

I should have been worrying about the damn star.

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November 28, 2007

“Most sales are after Christmas / But Clark’s is just before”

The year Wade and I were engaged, I came home with him for Christmas. It was odd to be with someone else’s family for the holidays, particularly since Wade has a large extended family and there were about four million people at my in-law’s house on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

I exaggerate. I think there were only about 80. Seriously.

Plus, I had the flu, and was hepped up on codeine-laced cough syrup for the whole week. THAT was a GOOD Christmas.

The best part, though, was Wade and his sister and brother spontaneously bursting out with the B. C. Clark Christmas jingle. B. C. Clark is a jewelry store, a local institution of sorts; it has been around forever, and is one of those places that everyone knows about, even if you’ve never bought anything there, and everyone knows the jingle. It’s the Unofficial Christmas Carol of Oklahoma City.

Now, years later, I know all the words to the B. C. Clark Christmas jingle, too, and I’m teaching it to the kids. You think I’m kidding, but I’m not. It’s a catchy little tune, and it’s part of Christmas in Oklahoma City. Plus I figure if I sing it enough, maybe Wade will get the urge to GO to B. C. Clark and BUY me something.

You can listen to the jingle here, if you really want to know what Christmas sounds like at my house. And I wear a size 6 ring, in case the holiday spirit seizes you.

November 27, 2007

I prefer my Christmas spirit straight up, with a twist of lemon

One of my favorite things about the holiday season (oh, hell, at my house it’s Christmas, get over it) is the music. I love Christmas carols, preferably the ones about the Baby Jesus, because really those songs about Santa are mostly just annoying.

Especially the four hundredth time you hear them.

I am blessed with satellite radio in my car (thank you, Baby Jesus, and also the fine people at XM) and for most of the year I use it to torment my children with the Music of My Misspent Youth (”It’s R. E. M.! We love R. E. M.! Oooh, U2! From before they sold out! What? No, we’re not listening to the Led Zepplin channel. That’s for when you’re with Daddy. How about some Housemartins? Or maybe a little Erasure!”)

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November 26, 2007

nothing! I have nothing!

I have worn the same two pairs of shoes every day for the past week.

I have not remembered to photograph them even once.

I have written five million words, all of them e-mails.

The only pants I can zip are either dry clean only or require ironing.

I wore a skirt today and forgot to photograph that, too.

I am wearing fleece yoga pants now.

Wade has stomach flu.

We have an entire homemade lasagna in the fridge.

Wade made it. And then came down with stomach flu.

I ate it anyway, and it was delicious.

I do not want to get the stomach flu, although that might solve the pants problem.

I am going to bed.  The end.