August 31, 2007

holy crack!

The other day I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. The last time I saw her, she was worried because her daughter wasn’t really talking yet. So of course the first thing I asked was, “Is she talking now?”

“Oh yes,” my friend said, “she never STOPS talking.”

I am familiar with that.

But my favorite part is this: her daughter, who is three, is in that great stage where she mishears things and then goes around repeating them at appropriate moments. Right now, her favorite expletive is “HOLY CRACK!” She says it all the time.

And since my friend told me that, I’ve been unable to stop saying it as well.

Because HOLY CRACK! works for anything.

This week, I’ve said it about Alberto Gonzales’ sudden resignation, the Elizabeth Edwards brouhaha, and the return of shoulder pads.

Actually that last one may have warranted some ACTUAL swear words. Because shoulder pads? HELL TO THE NO.

Also! Looking for something fun to do now that summer is over? How about joining The Working Closet Flickr pool? Because September is National Show Us What You’re Wearing to Work Month. Okay I made that last part up, but for the ENTIRE month of September, every single day, I will post a picture of what I’m wearing. And I want to see what YOU have on, too.

You can read all about it here.

Or! How about a closet makeover? More about that here. Sorry, there’s no $5,000 Visa involved, but I promise not to throw your existing clothes in the trash. Unless they really need to go.

Holy crack!

August 29, 2007

you would tell me if I were drooling, wouldn’t you?

The entire left side of my face is numb right now, which is really slowing me down. I had two of my four cavities filled this morning (I know, I originally said there were THREE but I was WRONG, how fun is that?) and now every time I go to put ChapStick on (which is about every 48 seconds because I am addicted) I rub it all over my face.

Sexay. (more…)

August 27, 2007

through sheer dumb luck, we all survived the weekend

Friday night, was Bingo Night at the boys’ school; it was also the first Cub Scout meeting of the year. Charlie wanted to play bingo, and Henry wants to be a Cub Scout, so Wade and I agreed that we would divide the responsibilities: I would take bingo and Charlie and he would take Scouting and Henry. But then Friday came and Wade had a late meeting and didn’t leave his office until 6:45 and he was racing to meet us at school by 7:00. Meanwhile, Charlie had decided that maybe bingo wasn’t what he thought it was going to be and was waffling about going (by which I mean he spent the afternoon whining, “I don’t WANT to play bingoooooo”), while Henry was yelling “IS IT TIME FOR CUB SCOUTS YET? WHEN WILL IT BE TIME FOR CUB SCOUTS? CAN WE GO NOW?”

I had to keep reminding myself that cocktails and bingo night probably don’t mix. (more…)

August 24, 2007

we threaten him with military school, but he would probably like it

Henry wore his tie ALL DAY yesterday (and no, that’s not an everyday thing, only for Mass on Thursdays, thank goodness–the rest of the time, he just wears a white polo shirt). He has announced that he likes his school except for TWO things: Mass and the uniform. Which pretty much sums up my Catholic school experience as well.

Despite his oft-declared disdain for the uniform, he secretly likes it. I know this because he RUNS upstairs in the morning to get dressed, and then spends a good five minutes admiring himself in the mirror. This morning I suggested that perhaps he shouldn’t button his polo ALL the way up, and when he asked why I said, “Well, most people don’t button that top button.”

And he looked at me and said, “Mom, I’m not most people.” Clearly I had forgotten that.

He has also decided that he wants to play soccer AND join the Cub Scouts, BOTH of which require uniforms, OF COURSE. And to get ready for all these uniforms, he dug out a soccer jersey from the Y from like three years ago and started wearing it around. Which is totally stylish, especially since it is a) made of polyester mesh, and b) waaaaay too small.

Last night, Wade was telling Henry about the long long day he’d had, and Henry said, “I had a long day, too. I had to go to MASS.”

And Wade said, “But Mass is a nice peaceful time.”

“No it isn’t!” Henry said. “You have to stand UP and sit DOWN and KNEEL and get UP again and PRAY. It’s exhausting.”

I guess the uniform got him through it, though.

August 23, 2007

for those about to rock, we salute you

Henry’s dress uniform. He looks a little bit like Angus Young, with less hair. Or maybe like Jack Black in School of Rock. But skinnier.

I am resisting the urge to make a Highway to Hell joke here. But it’s hard, believe me.

August 22, 2007

even I am bored by this

Last night, when I was awake for the tenth time, I thought I should do a twenty four hours in the life post! I could start with all the people who woke me up last night for no good reason.

9:50 pm Turn light out, go immediately to sleep. Good night!

11:00 pm Wade turns bathroom light on, specifically to torment me. At least, I’m pretty sure that was why. Maybe there was something else like needing to brush his teeth. Whatever.

1:30 am Wake up because . . . I don’t really know. I have to pee? I’m uncomfortable? George Bush is still President? No idea.

3:00 am Charlie appears next to the bed and announces, “Mama, I had a bad dream.” Climb into his bed and try not to fall out while he goes back to sleep.

5:30 Alarm goes off. Good morning! Shower, dress, make coffee, start laundry, make lunches, start counting down to bedtime.

It only got better from there. (more…)