May 31, 2007

so long, farewell . . .

I thought, as the last days in our house drew near, that I would be nostalgic; I imagined myself walking from room to room, reminiscing about how Henry took his first steps in the yard and Charlie took his first steps . . . uh, somewhere, probably in the house, but who can really remember after all that time. I expected to feel a little sad about leaving, because after all this is the end of a significant chapter of our life as a family.

Instead, I am palpably crabby. CRABBY! And the house is pissing me off.

At five am, Henry bolted out of his room and into the hall and yelled, “NOSEBLEED!” Which was really not how I wanted to wake up. We staunched the bleeding and got him cleaned up and ready to go back to bed (because he really wasn’t awake yet) but then I realized that his BED was big old bloody mess, so I put him in MY bed and started stripping his sheets. Which was when I noticed that in the scramble to find his glasses, he had bled on two library books and the CARPET IN HIS BEDROOM.

At 5:15 this morning, I was cleaning the ugly green carpet, because on Monday, it belongs to someone else, someone who probably does NOT want my son’s blood on it. I was also breathing a sigh of relief that he bled on books with plastic covers, which wiped off nicely.

At 7:15, Wade left for work. He went in the garage and came straight back in because one of the florescent bulbs in the light on his side of the garage had FALLEN OUT in the night and shattered on the floor. He swept up some of the glass and left for work. I promised to clean up the rest.

At 8:30, after the kids had spent an hour WRESTLING in Henry’s room, I announced, “WE ARE GOING TO THE ZOO AND WE ARE GOING TO HAVE FUN, DAMMIT” and ordered everyone out into the garage. And THEN remembered about the glass, which was all the hell over the place, including RIGHT next to my car. So I did the only logical thing, which was to start yelling like a crazy woman, “STOP! STOP!!! DO NOT GET IN THE CAR! GO IN THE HOUSE!” The kids stood perfectly still and looked at me, and then at each other, and I know they were thinking, “Mom has finally REALLY lost her mind.” Or they were waiting for my head to ACTUALLY explode, since I’m always telling them it’s going to.

It didn’t. But there is still time.

The zoo was fun. Caroline and her sons came and met us, which was a miracle because the first thing I said when I called her this morning was “I AM IN A BAAAAAAAD MOOD.” It was the kind of mood that people need to be prepared for, though, because there was no way I was going to put on a happy face, after the blood and the glass. But Caroline is my friend because she’s smart and funny and can be both in the course of a playdate that involved dragging our kids all over the zoo (”Keep walking! Just a little further!”) and then taking them to lunch at McDonald’s and ignoring them while they played in the gigantic germ factory climber.

I felt much better after I complained to her for three hours. Or I did until Wade called to say that he has to go to work in the morning, which was totally NOT PART OF THE PLAN. And when I am crabby, you do NOT want to mess with my plan.

Our closing on the new house is tomorrow afternoon. The final walk through for THIS house is in the morning. We are not done packing, the house is a sty, and Wade may have to go to the office for a while tomorrow. I wish I had the time and energy to feel nostalgic, but frankly I have too damn much to do, and all of it is pissing me off.

I will miss this house, I truly will; we have been very happy here. But right now I just want to get the hell out before anything else breaks or anyone else bleeds. I suppose that’s a good way to leave, looking forward to the new house rather than pining over the old house, but I think I need to get over the crabby before tomorrow, when I have a long day of shuffling papers and handing over gigantic sums of money.

My internet will be turned off in the morning (I think) but I can send photos to Flickr from my cell phone, so watch for updates. Because what could be more fun than watching my head explode me move!

May 29, 2007

I’m not dead but I might as well be

We’re 72 hours from our closing on the new house. I’m still in a kind of low-level panic, because STUFF! MUST! GET! DONE! but mostly I’m feeling pretty zen, especially since we have the bulk of the packing done.

Or I WAS feeling zen. Until today.

Our closing is Friday at 2:00. On Friday at 3:00, the men from the cable company (rhymes with “socks” and I HATE THEM) were going to come out and hook up my internet, and also some TV and a phone. After they turn the tv and phone and internet at THIS house off on Friday morning. It would be so perfect, and OF COURSE it’s not like I will NEED internet on Friday, when we’re trying to move and all.

Except for the fact that at 3:00 on Friday, we will still, mostly likely, be signing papers at the title company, which means that there will not be an adult over the age of 18 available to let the cable guy (rhymes with “socks” and I HATE THEM) into the new house.

Okay then, we’ll just reschedule! No problem! Oh no, no problem at all, if I don’t mind waiting until TUESDAY EVENING to have phone service. And television.

AND INTERNET.

The upside of five days (FIVE! DAYS! FIIIIIIVE!) without the internet is that OF COURSE I will get all the unpacking finished, because what the hell else am I going to do with my time? The down side is that I have those pesky contractual obligations to WRITE STUFF for people. People ON THE INTERNET.

Argh.

So I will probably be hanging out somewhere with wifi for at least a part of the day on Monday, and possibly Sunday night as well, which should make my husband REALLY REALLY HAPPY. Here, honey, put this stuff away, will ya? I’ll be at the coffee shop, working. No, really!

Stupid cable company.

May 26, 2007

finally packing

I went to WalMart at 8:30 this morning. What else do you need to know about my day?

More photos at Flickr, if you’re really curious. But not of WalMart because I was just trying to get the hell out of there as fast as possible.

May 25, 2007

he might find out, if he’s not careful

Charlie is in his room, post shower, putting on his pajamas and singing, in a sweet little baby voice:

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do
Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

(Leslie is the one who taught him that. Just so you know.)

Mother Talk Blog Tour: Mamasource.com

We moved to Oklahoma City in May of 2000; three weeks later, a FULL six weeks ahead of schedule, I had Henry. I was still trying to figure out where the grocery store was and now I had this wee tiny baby, who wasn’t nursing and wouldn’t sleep and had terrible reflux, to take care of.

The summer of 2000 was the hottest, driest summer Oklahoma had seen since the Dust Bowl. And only one of our cars had working A/C. I didn’t leave the house much, honestly.

We had an internet connection (dial up! really!), but beyond e-mailing people, which was hard because I was so damn tired, and Googling “pediatric reflux,” which always ended with an announcement that I was NEVER EVER Googling a medical condition EVER AGAIN, I didn’t have any idea how to make the ‘net work for me. I didn’t know about message boards or blogs; I didn’t have any idea that there might be other moms out there who understood what I was going through and were also up at three am doing laundry and worrying.

I really could have used a site like Mamasource. Mamsource includes the usual features of a community message board–once you are registered, you can ask for and offer advice on pretty much anything–but that’s not all. Mamasource connects you to other moms in your community (when I log in, the site knows that I am in Oklahoma City, for example), which means that the information other moms are sharing is location-specific. Mamasource members offer their recommendations for pediatricians and restaurants and hair salons, among other things.

I love that; I would probably have married it seven years ago. The responses to requests for advice are kind and helpful, and the local business recommendations are terrific (found cheery recommendations for both my pediatric practice and the funky salon where I get my hair cut, which made me feel like I was In the Know). I like that Mamasource is designed both for moms who are looking for an on-line community AND for moms who are looking to get out in their real community. And because the site is arranged by location, there’s always the possibility that someone you meet through the Mamasource boards will be someone you can hang with at the park or playground.

If you’re wondering what to do with your kids this summer, or you’re looking for a great hamburger, or you just want to see what other moms in your city are saying about being a mom in your city, check out Mamasource. Because it’s always good to know what’s going on around you, even if you never leave the house.

This post is part of the Mother Talk blog tour.

May 23, 2007

consider yourself warned

Tomorrow is Charlie’s last day of school; it is also Beach Blanket Day for the little ones, and I’m in charge of basketball, which, according to Charlie’s teacher, will consist mostly of making sure the kids don’t kill each other. I’m good at that. My kids are both still alive, after all.

For now, at least.

Friday is Henry’s last day of school, which means that it’s Field Day, although I don’t know what exactly that means. But today when I picked him up, his teacher came out to the car to ask if I could PLEASE possibly come on Friday to help, and I said, sure but I will have Charlie, and he she said, fine! bring him! he can play! and then have a hot dog for lunch! and Charlie yelled, “I LOVE HOT DOGS!” and that sealed the deal.

So despite the fact that my ass has decided to welcome summer by suddenly acquiring it’s own zip code, I will be going outside! in shorts! two days in a row! Oh sure, they will be LONG shorts, the kind that cover my knees, but still! Prepare yourself, Oklahoma City. This may be ugly.

Tomorrow the forecast is for RAIN (did I mention that Beach Blanket Day is an OUTSIDE activity? why yes!) so I will be pairing my (long) shorts with an REI rain jacket I bought when I was pregnant with Henry. Completing the look: ball cap and running shoes. Oh yeah. THAT is HOTT.

Want to know what makes that whole rain-jacket-and-long-shorts thing even worse? I have a new writing gig! As a fashion blogger! God help us all! The fabulous people at Work It, Mom! have invited me to be their style blogger. Yes, really! I will be dishing about what to wear to work at The Working Closet (get it? working as in going to work AND working as in functioning properly! clever!) on Tuesdays and Fridays. And this seems like a good time to remind you that I’m also at BlogHer on Mondays and Thursdays; for the next couple of weeks, I will be talking about how to flatter every figure. Today: the apple!

And–one more thing!–I have that other blog, the one that started all this style blogging, although mostly what I seem to do there these days is complain about the complete lack of places to shop if you’re over 21 and larger than a size two. Sometimes, though, I still give advice, if I am feeling particularly generous or I have extra questions in my mailbox. Today’s advice: don’t ever leave the house in a men’s small rain jacket from REI. Ever.

Okay then! If you have questions about what to wear to work or how to create a waist or where the fashion industry SHOULD be focusing, shoot me an e-mail. And if you see me in the next two days, do not, for the love of all that is holy, mention my ass. Or the rain jacket. That is all.