October 31, 2006

boo!

While I was in Kansas City, Wade’s parents took the boys to the pumpkin patch, where they found pre-carved jack-o-lanterns. No muss, no fuss, no knives in the hands of my hyperactive children. Perfect!

Until last week, when I went out to pick up the mail and realized that the big orange jack-o-lantern was now a big BLACK jack-o-lantern. If anything could make it MORE spooky, it was the thick coating of mold that had taken up residence all over the pumpkin.

Gross.

(No there are no pictures. I was too busy strategizing how the get the damned thing into the trash without TOUCHING it, and THEN I was too busy washing my hands fourty million times. Because GROSS.)

Tonight I’m taking the boys trick-or-treating at a small, chichi mall near us. I love the whole idea of indoor trick-or-treat; it’s warm and there are no cars or dogs or houses where people will jump out and scare the holy living hell out of my kids. Just candy, and maybe dinner at the Mexican restaurant afterwards.

Henry is The Flash; Charlie is Mr. Incredible. In case you weren’t sure.

We have been practicing our trick-or-treat routine for a few days; we have reminded the boys not to say “Trick or Treat, smell my feet!” which is a bummer for Charlie, who has REALLY stinky feet. We have also reminded them that they are to say thank you NO MATTER WHAT the treat is. This has confused the kids a bit.

Me: What do you say if the treat is something icky?

Charlie: EEEEEWWW!

Me: No.

Charlie: Sheesh.

Me: No.

Henry: No, thank you.

Me: No.

Henry: But I always say NO THANK YOU when someone offers me something I don’t like.

Me: NO. You say TRICK OR TREAT and then you say . . .

Henry and Charlie: THANK YOU!

Me: And if the treat is icky?

Charlie: Eeeeewww!

Henry: Oooh! We say THANK YOU.

Me: Sheesh.

Happy Halloween!

October 30, 2006

Style Friday, Monday edition: still talking about socks

Things that are kicking my ass today: daylight savings time (kids! awake! at 5:00 am!) and the weather (today: 80 degrees! tomorrow: 55!). It’s also possible that I OD’d on Halloween candy this weekend and am having some sort of Smarties Withdrawal.

Anyway, I’m beat. You?

Thank god there is more to say about socks, because that keeps me from having to think of something interesting to write here. Honestly you all, I had NO IDEA that socks could inspire such passion! Such angst! Such a lot of questions!

Then again, I don’t really wear them, so how would I know?

Let’s tie up the loose sock threads, shall we? Busy Mom asked what “the proper color sock for viewing between dark brown shoes and khaki pants” might be. Answer: khaki, or something light. NOT dark brown; in this particular case, matching socks to shoes will make your legs look stumpy. If you’re feeling daring, you can coose a third color (navy or hot pink or lime green) and make a statement with your socks; I love the idea of “freelancing” socks. But do this carefully and thoughtfully, because it WILL draw attention to your ankles.

Laura brought up a related point: “when do you know to wear a brown shoe and when to wear a black shoe? And what about those various shades of brown from dark to taupe? And what about navy shoes? I have been existing in black shoes and socks land for awhile, since I am unknowing.”

Oooh, good question.

Black and brown are both neutrals, and thus go with virtually everything. VIRTUALLY. Which means “almost, but not quite.” Black and dark brown shoes are best with dark trousers or skirts; pairing dark shoes with light colored or lightweight skirts and pants draws attention to your feet, and not necessarily in a good way. Think about the line you are creating; black trousers with black shoes (and black socks, if needed) creates a sleek, fluid look.

HOWEVER, you CAN wear dark shoes with light pants; choose a light-weight shoe, though, to balance the color of the pants.

shoes and trousers by J. Crew

These black peep-toes are the perfect foil for the ivory herringbone trousers; the shoes are noteworthy but are not the focus of attention. And I know you’re saying to yourself, “Dude, I’m TOTALLY not wearing WHITE WOOL TROUSERS to playgroup.” No, but I’ll bet you own some light-colored chinos, yes? Same rule. Light color or light fabric needs a lighter shoe. For winter, opt for something with some weight–jeans or corduroys or wool pants–and pair them with some cool black or brown shoes. For summer, go with light colored pants and lighter shoes–a sandal or open-toed pump.

Or, pair them with some nice navy shoes! Navy is a fantastic neutral alternative; treat it pretty much like you would black or brown. Navy shoes are great with everything EXCEPT black pants and skirts; they are beautiful with brown, for example, and with lighter colors, navy can be a nice alternative to brown or black, although again think about balance (open-toed or sling back or strappy navy shoes are best with lighter fabrics or colors). The same is true for lighter brown shoes. I love these in “Vicuna.” I think they would be beautiful with dark brown pants or black pants or dark jeans, AND with camel or caramel colored pants AND with navy pants AND . . .

You get the idea.

Think about it this way: do you want people looking at your shoes or socks? Or do you want the focus to be somewhere else, like your pretty face or your Superhero necklace? Make a choice, rather than just throwing socks and shoes on and running out the door. But for the love of god, do NOT wear black clogs with white socks and shorts. Please. Because I will see you and it will take everything I have in me not break down weeping right there in the Target grocery line.

October 29, 2006

one more reason to love my husband

Wade and his dad took the boys on a Day Camp yesterday.

The Gear looked like this:

When Preppies camp.

Wade wants me to include a disclaimer that this is NOT what he typically carries his gear in when HE goes camping. In fact, when I got the camera out he said, “No! Don’t take pictures!” Fortunately, I wasn’t listening.

We’re so excited that it makes us blurry!

The boys were a little confused about the distinction between CAMPING and TRICK OR TREATING, but they got with the program once they reached the Great Outdoors. They fished (with Batman fishing poles, even) and both caught a fish. Henry thought it was cool, but Charlie said the fish scared him.

He’s clearly my son, that little one.

Wade says, “Are you REALLY taking those pumpkins camping? Greeeaaat . . . “

They had a campfire and they roasted marshmellows and they went for a hike that turned into the Bataan Death March. Wade ended up carrying BOTH kids (not at the same time, fortunately) and today he’s moving a little slowly. Charlie put his hand down in a cactus and ate an entire bag of Doritos on the drive home. Henry cooked a hot dog and threw leaves in the fire.

And my god did they ever have fun.

I did some work and did some laundry and possibly did some shoe shopping. I read a book and read the New York Times. It was lovely. And the best, BEST part was that after the kids were in bed last night, Wade was listing all the ways in which this was a successful trip, and he said, “We really need to do that more often. You know?”

Yes. I know.

October 27, 2006

Style Friday

I had a very nice e-mail this week from the lovely Jeana: “I have a shoe question for you, regarding mules and clogs and specifically if you’re supposed to wear socks or stockings with them, and if so what kind? I have some dark brown dress shoes that are ‘backless’ and I love the way they look with pants, but when I sit down and my socks are visible I feel like a dork. Any advice? Lives are in the balance, but you know, no pressure.”

No no! None at all.

Jeana isn’t the first person to ask me about this, and I actually DO have an answer, but I’m hesitant to throw it out here without some explanation, because the short version is this: while there are some Rules about what you wear on your feet, the Rules are subject to . . . well, a lot of stuff. Like where you live and what you do all day and what kind of shoes you are wearing.

Let me explain.

If it’s at all possible, I skip socks. I wear my ballet flats and my pointy toed slingbacks virtually all winter without anything under them. I wear mules with little half socks. With athletic shoes, I wear very low cut athletic socks, the kind that fit below the ankle bone. I wear tights with skirts, for warmth and coverage. I wear stockings only for black-tie functions, and then they are either nude or very sheer black, depending on my outfit. I don’t ever wear tights or stockings with mules because I slide right out of them. The shoes, not the tights. I’m not that kind of girl.

I can get away with being sock free all the time because it’s not all that cold where I live. Yesterday it was in the low 80s here; today we’re looking at a more seasonable 60ish, if we’re lucky. During the two or so weeks in the winter when it’s REALLY cold, I break out my L. L. Bean Maine Hunting Boots (circa 1980-something) and a pair of heavy wool ski socks and wear them with EVERYTHING.

It’s part of my carefully cultivated J. Crew aesthetic.

By now, of course, you’re wondering why you ever listen to me about anything because CLEARLY I have some screws loose to be going around in the WINTER without SOCKS on and my GOD she probably never put a HAT on her BABIES, either! Those poor CHILDREN! I’ll have you know that BOTH of my boys have hats AND gloves stored in their school bags and that we all dress appropriately for the weather. And remember that I said this sock thing wasn’t as simple as, say, what underwear to wear with your low-rise jeans.

So! What ARE the Rules about socks?

Jeana asked specifically about mules and clogs. If you can get away with it (ie, if it’s not freezing cold or you’re not slogging through snow) skip socks entirely, or opt for the half socks. Be sure to exfoliate and moisturize your heels, because cracked heels aren’t a pretty sight. If it’s cold AND your shoe is a basic brown or black AND you are wearing pants (not a skirt; we’ll get to that in a minute), go with a sock that matches the shoe. If your shoe is some other color–red or green or fuschia–match the sock to the pants. You’re trying to create a continuous line, either an extension of your pants leg or of your shoe. Brown shoes with red socks and black pants is just . . . wrong.

I recommend actual SOCKS, not trouser socks or knee-high stockings, for two reasons. Both trouser socks and knee-highs hit just below the knee and can impede circulation to your feet; I’m not a doctor and I’m not going to play one on the Internet, but this is a Bad Thing. You can Google it yourself. Second, trouser socks and knee-highs are, quite honestly, frumpy. And yes, I can feel you all balling up your trouser socks and taking aim at my head, but I stand by this. Choose some nice socks, something that is at least PARTIALLY composed of natural fibers. Target carries lovely cashmere and angora blend socks in beautiful colors and patterns for next to nothing. Think about a nice argyle or a pretty moss stitch pattern. I have a pair of brown socks with one tan snowflake at the ankle. I love them.

When you sit down, the top of your socks should be higher than the hem of your pants; if you can see a little strip of leg between the pants and the socks, you either need longer socks or longer pants. Think of this as the ankle equivalent of butt crack. Either skip the socks entirely and show your ankles off or cover up and create a coherent line.

With skirts, the rules are essentially the same; match tights to your skirt or your shoes for a long leg line. Even if your skirt is long, go with tights, not socks or knee highs or trouser socks. If it’s warm enough for knee highs, it’s warm enough for bare legs; if you want coverage, put some tights on.

In fact, just go toss ALL those knee-high stockings in the trash. Right now. I’ll wait.

Tights can be a lot of fun. Choose something with texture, for variety and interest, but don’t let your tights compete with your skirt. A denim skirt looks great with a pair of textured tights, but a tweed skirt calls for something patternless. If your shoes are a print–leopard, for example, or a nice plaid–choose tights that pick up a color in the shoe or continues the color of your skirt. Steer clear of very thick cotton tights; they will stick to an unlined skirt, and make you look like you are twelve. Which you’re not.

Peep toed shoes and slingbacks really should be worn without any legwear. You can put hose on under slingbacks, but for the love of all that is holy do NOT wear pantyhose or tights with open-toed shoes. EVER. I know there are “toeless” panty hose, but I don’t trust them. If you are concerned about your winter white legs, get some self-tanner and use it ahead of time. If you don’t feel comfortable with bare legs in the winter, opt for beautiful pumps that cover BOTH your toes AND your heel and wear them with neutral stockings.

Some of The Kids are wearing open-toed shoes or strappy sandals with tights these days. This is fine if you were born after, say, 1980 (and even then it’s risky, unless you happen to be an Olsen twin) but otherwise it’s a big no-no. Wear tights with closed-toe, casual shoes (a ballet flat, for example, or a flat mule); wear stockings or nothing with dressy shoes. Wear tights with boots; think about opting for a more risque tight or even a fishnet with your boots. Because all anyone will see is a little flash, not the whole pattern.

Do not–DO NOT–wear white tights. Ever. Do not wear light-colored tights in the winter. In fact, I will go all out and say DO NOT WEAR LIGHT-COLORED TIGHTS, EVER. Amen.

As with everything else, think about your socks as part of your outfit. It’s fine if people can see them, but they should be nice looking and should fit correctly and shouldn’t have a big hole in the heel. Patterned socks can be fun–I like a nice argyle myself–but be cautious of choosing socks that are the focus of your whole ensemble. If you wear Cookie Monster socks with lovely wool trousers and a nice pair of loafers, people will ONLY notice the socks. And they will wonder why you are swiping clothes from your children. Your SMALL children.

You need two pair of each of the following: black socks, brown socks, black tights, brown tights. One pair of each color tights can be textured, as can one pair of each color socks; add more socks if you wear them every day. Black socks will fade, so promise me that you will throw them away when they start to look grey-ish. You can toss your tights in the washing machine; invest in a lingerie bag and use it to keep the tights from getting tangled up. Hang them to dry. Replace them when they get icky.

And until then, wear them with reckless abandon.

Thanks for everyone’s help with mymascara crisis–keep the recommendations coming! And skip on over to City Mouse Tees to see what the Cool Kids are wearing.

October 26, 2006

in which I turn to the Internet for product assistance

Help me, Internet. Revlon has discontinued my absolute favorite mascara. Bastards. I’ve suspected as much for a while, what with Target no longer carrying it, but the other day I bought the LAST tube at my local Walgreens and I started to think, huh, I wonder what’s going on with the mascara? and so I Googled it and sweet cracker sandwiches! DISCONTINUED!

And while I could start buying it on eBay, I would rather not, because that’s sort of a pain in the ass, and it just postpones the inevitable. One day, the last tube of Revlon Colorstay will be empty and it will be time to move on. Except I won’t know which way to move because it took me years–YEARS!–to find this particular mascara. In the meantime, I’m stockpiling and searching for a replacement. Which is where you come in. Find me a mascara. Pronto.

My needs are simple: I’m not looking for extra length or extra thickness or extra curl. In fact, I’m looking for a formula that does NOT try to plump my lashes in any way, shape, or form. ALL I want is color. BUT it needs to be long-lasting and must be able to withstand sweating and crying and the putting in and taking out of contact lenses.

My beloved Revlon Colorstay is a lash TINT, not a traditional mascara; it’s a lightweight gel formula. I need a makeup remover to take it off, and frankly, I’m good with that; “water-resistant” formulas don’t work for me, nor does anything that advertises that it can be removed with soap and water. LONG WEARING, people. Must be long-wearing. And lightweight.

And available in an actual store near me and not solely by mail.

So let’s recap, shall we? I want a long-lasting, gel formula mascara that will NOT come off without makeup remover. I would really love to spend under $10.00 a tube, but I realize that this may not be possible. And if you could suggest a mascara that would also make my boobs look bigger, that would be terrific.

Ready, set . . . recommend.

October 25, 2006

Mommy has her moments, some of which require their own t-shirt

Despite all my Big Talk about how you absolutely CAN be a mommy and dress well, I am all about the t-shirt as a wardrobe staple. Dress them up, dress them down, they’re comfy and practical and MACHINE WASHABLE for god’s sake. I don’t even want to tell you how many tees and tanks I own. It’s embarrassing. I am always looking for the Perfect Tee.

I’m also a fan of Tees That Make a Statement, although it’s hard to find a really great graphic tee, one that fits well AND is made of nice fabric AND says something worthwhile. Until now, that is.

Shirt by City Mouse Tees. Photo by Henry, who was telling me a joke about a hippopotamus.

I love this shirt; it’s comparable to the Gap Favorite tee in the fit and the quality (in fact, that’s what I’m wearing underneath it). City Mouse also offers incredibly cute kids’ tees; my one caution about these is that they run a little small. That or my kids run a little big, which is also possible. In any case, Charlie is busting out of his size four “piggy shirt,” which is a bummer because it’s so stinkin’ adorable and so very soft and he LOVES it and will pull it directly from the dryer and put it on. Good thing, because two more meals and it won’t fit any more. Order up a size for the kidlings.

You know you want one. Think of it as the Official Friday Playdate Tee.