I love Holly for many reasons, including this:

“And after extensive experimentation, I’ve come to the conclusion that the coffee at Whole Foods is laced with crack, because every time I drink it, I scare the interns. They often have to peel me off the ceiling and quietly remove sharp objects from my desk. I wish this were true of the two-bite vanilla cupcakes at Whole Foods, because maybe then I’d stop eating them too.”

Mmm, vanilla cupcakes. I could use one of those about now.

This morning, I made the ONLY coffee in our house, the remainder of a package of pinon coffee leftover from Wade’s Christmas stocking. (I could swear I’ve written that EXACT SAME SENTENCE before, but I can’t for the life of me find it.) I like the pinon coffee, mostly as a New Mexico novelty, but this morning I was desperate and it was delicious.

It was also, apparently, laced with crack because by lunchtime, I was having that same peel-me-off-the-ceiling day Holly describes, although without the interns or the cupcakes.

Mmmm, vanilla cupcakes. So delicious.

To counteract the crack-laced pinon coffee I brewed a pot of French roast (before the crack kicked in I stopped at the grocery because HA HA I kept thinking I REALLY NEED MORE COFFEE and somehow it didn’t occur to me that if I was thinking in ALL CAPS that maybe I really DIDN’T NEED ANY MORE COFFEE). So, by lunchtime, I was all jacked up on the junk.

And I had written 2200 words (more, actually, but I had an entire paragraph that was about something ENTIRELY UNRELATED to what I was writing about)–2200 words NOT FOR THIS WEB SITE. Look at me, with a Project! No, I’m not telling you what it is.

Where’s my coffee? And WHERE ARE MY CUPCAKES???

So after two thousand words and two hundred cups of coffee, I’d had it. I spent a while IMing with Jen, which mostly consisted of typing FUCK over and over (I was telling her a story about my insurance company and my pediatrician, which fortunately ended with the bill being paid IN FULL thank you very much) and giggling when I accidentally typed TIT (because it’s funny! after 200 cups of coffee). After that was over, I was still hopping around and couldn’t write any more and I really wanted to go shopping. But that didn’t seem like a very good idea, what with the whole checking account situation and all. I seriously thought about e-mailing Holly to say CRACK! IN THE COFFEE! SEND CUPCAKES! but she’s in Vietnam and has a lot going on.

I wonder if she has any cupcakes.

But! Shopping! I spent the afternoon browsing for shoes and hair product and books and putting it all here, just for you. And over there in the left sidebar you can get a little preview of what I found and why I love it! Isn’t that fun? I did it ALL FOR YOU! You’re welcome.

And now I’m tired and I should probably sleep because tomorrow I have to finish the Project which means I will have to consume a LOT more crack coffee and probably some cupcakes.