July 31, 2005

how many times can I use the word ‘blog’ in this post?

I had a coffee date last week with my Internet friend M&Co–a THREE AND A HALF HOUR coffee date! On a weeknight, even! It was, as she said, like a blind date, except that I was pretty sure she wouldn’t be disappointed by my tragically small boobs. Because I’ve been on THAT blind date before (haven’t we all?).

I have to admit I was a little nervous; I’ve always scoffed at people who proudly announce, ‘Oh we met on the Internet!’ It seems a little . . . wierd . . . to me. I mean, how do you really KNOW what this other person is like? I don’t know about the rest of you, but I think long and hard about what I write here (although I’m sure it doesn’t always look that way). What if it turned out that, in person, I needed a lot more editing and spell checking? But there was nothing wierd or awkward about my three hours of chit chat with M; we have a lot in common, and she’s so very very funny and thoughtful and kind–just like she is on her website. (And Crayonz, she DOES have brown hair, although it is short and curly, which makes me desperately envious. She also has her own law practice, which I envy, and the cutest pedicure ever. Maybe she should post some pictures of those toes? Everyone go ask her to post pictures!)

It was so nice to talk to another adult–a smart, funny adult to boot–without any kids around. It was also nice to talk to someone I made friends with on my own, without the intervention of my spouse or children. And can you believe we talked for THREE AND A HALF HOURS? In the end, it was less like a blind date and more like catching up with someone I hadn’t seen in a long time.

And her account of our meeting made me smile–although she did fail to mention that when she showed up, I was reading The Washingtonienne, the ‘novel’ based on Jessica Cutler’s blog. Dont’ bother reading the book–the blog is shorter and frankly, better written. (Have I mentioned how much I hate that word, ‘blog’? And yet I just keep right on using it, and all it’s horrible forms–blogger, blogging, blogitty . . . ugh.)

Today’s unrelated BLOG trivia: did you know that the first weblog was started in 1994 by a student at Swarthmore College? Well, it was. Where were YOU in 1994?

July 28, 2005

various and sundry things that have occured to me as a result of comments left on this site (but that I haven’t yet written about)

1. Elle Macpherson strikes me as odd. Probably very nice, but odd. I don’t think I could hang out with her.

2. I paid $6.00 for my beach bag. On clearance. In July, when it was still hot and I still needed a beach bag. Why does all the seasonal stuff go on clearance in the MIDDLE of the season?

3. My favorite pedicure color is red, although currently my toenails are pink, to go with my sandals du jour, which are fuschia.

4. The Wild Oats store in Albuquerque sells Crocs shoes. I want orange Crocs. We do not have Wild Oats in OKC. And yet I continue to live here.

5. I went to Catholic school through eighth grade. I spent all of sixth grade praying that God would call me to be a nun. Fortunately, that didn’t work out.

6. Bluefly is addictive.

7. Impetigo in your EYE? Yikes.

8. Are all the Anonymouses the SAME Anonymous? Or are there several of you? Come on, fess up.

9. Adria, are you still out there?

10. I think I need to swear more. Or less, I’m not sure which. Suggestions?

11. I said it before and I’ll say it again: a nanny AND a night nurse AND a babysitter? The Virgin Mary didn’t have THAT kind of help and she was raising Jesus (who I’m sure was a handful, don’t you think?).

12. I didn’t poison anyone with the baked ziti (but I will not be sharing the recipie).

13. I must be the only one in the world who didn’t go camping as a child–my dad believed in exploring the Great Indoors; he used to joke that a Howard Johnson’s with only one tv was as much ‘camping’ as he was willing to do.

14. I started to read ‘Slacker Mom’ and, quite frankly, was disappointed. I was good with the concept (LOVED the concept, actually) but the writing was . . . eh.

15. What, no one is dying to hear my theories about the Rise of the English Novel? Oh, I’ll be writing about that, don’t you worry . . .

‘good’ mommies don’t blog in their underwear

I’ve been zipping around the Internet recently, making snappy comments about ‘good’ mommies, but I hate to be glib about the whole notion of ‘good’ parenting (which is always posed as the opposite of what most of us are doing every day), and so I wanted to write something smart and eloquent about being a real mommy, and about how most of us are, nearly always, good mommies even when we choose different parenting paths and styles.

Instead, I’m going to tell you about My Day So Far, which may get us to the same place.

7:00 am: Boys awake and snuggly and charming; playing nicely together before breakfast.

7:30: Husband leaves for work amid usual breakfast chaos.

7:33: Husband calls from car to ask if I remember that we have an appointment with the psychologist tomorrow morning. Which I don’t. Or if I have a babysitter lined up. Which I don’t. Swear under breath.

7:37: Frantically e-mail girlfriend to ask if kids can play at her house for an hour, as my babysitter is out of town this week.

7:50: Shuffle children off to get dressed; take off my pjs and search through virtually empty closet for something clean-ish to wear.

7:52: Hear Henry tell Charlie to ‘give me Green Lantern or I will punch you with Flash!’ Throw on bathrobe, as the boys are in a room with ALL THE BLINDS OPEN, and intervene.

7:53-8:01: Talk Henry through tantrum. Leave him to have quiet time. Tell Charlie to get dressed.

8:03: Hear Henry AGAIN threaten to hit Charlie. Put bathrobe back on. Send Charlie to his room to GET DRESSED FOR GOD’S SAKE and talk Henry through second tantrum.

8:17: Henry calmed down, Charlie dressed. Put on first clothes I find (pants that are too tight; bra that is too big; polo shirt I hate).

8:30: Turn on Charlie and Lola. Sort laundry while watching TV with kids. Start load of laundry. Think about cleaning up kitchen. Hear Henry announce, ‘We’re all done with TV! Let’s go to the park!’

9:07: Starbucks. Praise god.

9:30: Play at sandy park.

10:10: Henry announces that he has to pee (he peed at Starbucks forty minutes ago). Start to explain that we’re NOT going to pee on a tree (too many other people at the park) but that we CAN go back to Starbucks and then come BACK to the park. Get as far as ‘Not going to pee in the park’ before Henry throws sand at me and hits my arm and starts screaming. Pack everyone up and head home.

10:16: Drive through at dry cleaners. Wait SEVEN MINUTES before employee notices car in drve through. Drop off clothes, and realize as I am driving away that I just left the skirt I was planning to wear to dinner on Saturday night with the laundry that won’t be ready until Monday after 5:00. Swear under breath.

10:33: Pull into driveway. Hear Henry announce, ‘Charlie, it’s not even close to lunchtime yet.’ Remember that the lawn was fertilzed yesterday but hasn’t been watered yet, so we cannot go outside. Tell the kids to go get their swimsuits on.

10:58: Schlep everyone to pool. Leslie calls; wants us to meet them for lunch at 11:30. Tell her, ‘No. I worked too damn hard to get to the pool.’ She understands.

12:28: Load everyone back in the car, after taking Henry to the potty THREE TIMES in ninty minutes (what the hell is that all about?). Drag them home, feed them lunch, read a story while they eat, and stick them in their rooms. Assure them that if I so much as HEAR their VOICES in the next hour, I will sell them to the gypsies.

12:59: Shower. Eat a Luna bar while the water heats up.

1:44: Sit at computer in my underwear because today is laundry day and my pants are in the dryer and muse about what it takes to be a good mommy.

Frankly, I got nothin’.

July 26, 2005

the Vanity Fair interview

In the August issue of Vanity Fair, there is an article about Elle Macpherson, which includes, of course, the necessary Elle’s Beauty Tips sidebar. While I don’t typically quote things like this here, I’m going to do it today. You’ll see why.

VF: What kind of beach bag do you carry?

Elle: A cream linen Melissa Odabash with zebra print inside.

VF: What’s in it?

Elle: Sunscreen, and iPod and speakers, bathing suits by Melissa Odabash and TNA, a cowboy hat, and Chrome Hearts sunglasses.

I’m fascinated by all this. Cream colored linen? Really? Doesn’t it get dirty? And she takes her iPod to the beach? Doesn’t it get sandy? And what does she do with it–does she just set it up on her towel? And where IS her towel? And what about her kids? Where is all of THEIR stuff? (Yes, I know, the nanny has it.)

So it got me thinking . . .

VF: What kind of beach bag do you carry?

Me: An oversized lime green plastic mesh bag, from SuperTarget. It has pockets on the outside so the wet things don’t touch the dry things.

VF: What’s in it?

Me: Sunscreen, swim diapers, regular diapers, wipes, changing pad, ziploc bags (for the diapers), sunscreen, glasses case (for Henry) sunglasses (for Charlie), two snorkel masks and snorkels, four pairs of Speedo goggles, two straw cups, kleenex, antibacterial hand wipes, chap stick, ten dive toys (you know, to throw in the pool and pick up from the bottom), my Ohio State baseball cap, my keys, wallet, and cell phone, and a yellow rubber duck. Oh, and towels for the boys. Today we had one that looks like a shark and one that looks like a frog. From Gymboree.

I would post a picture of my bag, but frankly, I’m embarassed by how huge and green and plastic it is. And how much crap I have in it.

And I’m depressed that I actually NEED all that crap to go to the pool.

July 25, 2005

my hippie holiday

So we spent a LOT of time last week hanging out at the Whole Foods Market in Albuquerque. It’s right down the road from my parents’ house, which makes it convenient, and they have great coffee and EXCELLENT baked goods (my god the almond croissant is to die for) and a nice little outdoor cafe area where the boys can play while we relish our breakfast. The kids also love the produce section (this time they were fascinated by the coconuts). Wade and I just like to roam the aisles and see what the wealthy hippies are eating these days. It kills us that there is NOT a Whole Foods in Oklahoma City (Tulsa, yes, which just proves that Tulsa is way cooler than OKC).

Because I was on vacation, I bought magazines, and of course, at Whole Foods, the magazines are things like Body + Soul and Breathe Magazine, both of which are ‘lifestyle’ magazines for the yoga and organic veggies set (Body + Soul is published by the Martha Stewart people–and speaking of lifstyles, take a look at the Vanity Fair article about Martha’s home arrest. I’d wear an ankle bracelet too if I could live on her farm! But I digress). I spent two days reading articles about Taking Your Yoga Practice Outside and Rediscovering Fun and The New Feng Shui. It was all very soothing, the idea that backyard yoga and an organic dinner salad could improve my life. But I’m just not convinced.

For one thing, it is REALLY FREAKING HOT here in Oklahoma just now, so the idea of taking my yoga practice outdoors is not all that appealing (not to mention that our Bermuda grass makes me itch, and we have millions of mosquitos in our yard). Somehow I don’t think the road to inner peace is really supposed to be sweaty and itchy (then again, maybe I’m just missing the point, which could explain my daily lack of inner peace). Then there was the design article about the Buddhist principle of wu wei. I will admit to being intrigued by the idea of feng shui–we have a wind chime outside our front door, to bring good chi into our house, and our foyer is painted red, which invites happiness and positive energy. Wu wei, however, is less about following certain patterns to create happiness and more about ‘letting objects go where they want to be in the world.’ In my house, this seems to be the kitchen table, which is where everything you can imagine ends up. Again, all that crap piled everywhere doesn’t make me feel relaxed. And of course the woman in the article had a home filled with beautiful artifacts–my home is filled with action figures and plastic dinosaurs, which is just not the same thing.

And then there’s the cost of the organic life. I’ve been going back and forth about buying organic milk for the boys (and yes, in the end, I will most likely start doing it). But I compared the prices and was startled, to say the least–a half gallon of Horizon milk costs nearly THREE TIMES what the store brand costs. Yikes. Yes, yes, I know, it’s my children’s HEALTH we are talking about, but still! Those kids drink a LOT of milk.

But for a week, because we were on vacation and cost was no object and we had all the time in the world, we lived the organic chic life, and it was fantastic. So when I got home last night, I dug out my yoga mat, and today at the grocery I bought Horizon organic milk for the boys–I’m hoping that this will keep the vacation buzz going for a few more days.

And then I need to figure out how we get a Whole Foods here in OKC.

July 24, 2005

home sweet home

We’re home! The house is clean, the lawn is mowed, and there’s not a damn thing to eat. Hey–vacation’s over!

I have lots to tell about my week of Doing Nothing And Loving It, but it’s late, so I’ll leave you with some very exciting photos of our drive home–specifically the last half hour of our drive, when the boys FINALLY decided to nap (after EIGHT HOURS in the car).

Poor Henry–the Big Kid Booster Seat doesn’t offer ANY head rest at all. Until just before I started taking pictures, he was sleeping doubled over with his head on his knees. Ouch. I wish you could see his hands–he was clutching two SuperHero action figures and a knight in full chain mail (with a sword! and a battle axe!).

Then there’s my Fat Charlie–poor little Buddha. He also had some SuperHeroes, but they were tucked into his binket.

We were all very very tired (and very VERY cranky) when we got home. So the boys went to bed (all three of them) and I caught up with my Internet friends. And now it’s off to bed for me, too!

Tomorrow: Whole Foods Market and other things I love about Albuquerque.