June 15, 2005

toast: it’s what’s for dinner!

I am still without a dishwasher. STILL. And frankly, I’m furious. I’ve tried to be nice, but today I lost what little niceness was left in me. The constant pile of cups and spoons in the sink is making me lose my will to live, and the people at Sears are just pissing me off. Today I talked to the Appliances Department manager, and convinced her that she should refund both my delivery charge AND the charge to haul away the old dishwasher (as the delivery guy, it turns out, just drives the truck and unloads the merchandise; he doesn’t unhook the old machine or hook up the new one). The total of these two charges is what I will have to pay Chuck the Plumber to uninstall the old dishwasher, so I’m still only barely breaking even, but at least I’m closer to getting the damn thing taken care of AND I made my point with Sears.

But I hate them, with a white-hot hate.

I am also cranky because we cannot leave the house this afternoon, as we are STILL WAITING for the actualy dishwasher to actually be DELIVERED, which shoots all my plans to go swimming or to the bookstore or ANYWHERE AT ALL. And, to top it all off, I have to go out tonight when Wade gets home, to buy the damn fixtures for the bathroom, so that when Chuck the Plumber finally comes, I’m all ready for him to DO HIS JOB, which means that I cannot start drinking (because, my whole assertion that I’m not really a drinker aside, I COULD REALLY USE A DRINK ABOUT NOW).

So here’s what I want to know, Internet: what are you serving for dinner? ‘Cause I got nothin’ and I’m too angry to think constructively about feeding my family right now.

June 13, 2005

the irony, it is thick

We are thick with irony here these days. In fact, the only thing keeping me from succumbing to the humidity (which is bad, trust me) is the tremendous cloud of irony hanging over our house.

Just a few of the ironic things clouding the air:

1. Since Henry’s ‘diagnosis’, he has been much more tractable and on-task. Or so it seems–it could be the liquor talking.
2. Despite the fact that I have spent my entire parenting life (and most of my adult life) asserting, loudly and often, that NO CHILD OF MINE WILL EVER ATTEND A CATHOLIC SCHOOL, it looks like Henry will go to Catholic school. And frankly, I’m good with that.*
3. Despite all the agonizing about changing schools, it appears that, at the New School, we will be paying HALF of what we were paying in tuition at the Old School. Go figure.
4. After years of agonizing about EVERY SINGLE home improvement I suggested, Wade has taken to meeting all changes with a cheery, ‘Looks great, hon!’ Again, might be the liquor talking, but it’s working for me.

I think you can see why the humidity isn’t even making a dent.

*Although I am still NOT going to Mass on Sunday. Instead, I’m buying books about Buddhism. So there.

Edited to add: I COMPLETELY forgot the greatest irony of all. After all my bitching and moaning about having to spend the ENTIRE summer with these damn kids, I’m having a pretty good time with them. Actually, I’m having a REALLY good time. Today we played six (yes, SIX) games of Candyland, and IT WAS FUN. And that was long before the drinking started. Tomorrow: swim lessons. Oh, will I have stories for you, Internet. Tune in.

what we’ve done today

This morning at breakfast, the boys started talking about wanting to plant flowers in our yard. Since the pool is closed on Monday, we were pretty desperate for something to do, and since it rained last night and our yard is a swamp, planting seemed like a good idea. I also have some ongoing guilt feelings about my yard; the grass is nice, and we keep things trimmed and neat, but we have a fantastic flower bed, just off the edge of the horrible porch (with a lovely built-in brick planter box) and another bed under the kitchen window, both of which are currently filled with weeds and Bermuda grass. The year we bought the house, Wade’s mother planted both these beds and they were beautiful, but I’ve not kept it up, which is sad. Apparently we have the best soil in Oklahoma City, and it breaks my mother-in-law’s heart that we’re not growing anything.

Until today! We went to Lowe’s (Henry’s choice) and bought a dozen periwinkle plants and two fairly large lantana plants. I had good luck with the lantana last summer, even though I planted it late (yes, I know, all these things should have gone in the garden weeks ago, but guess what? THEY DIDN’T). The vinca I’m a little more nervous about, especially as we seemed to have upset a whole anthill when we were prepping the planter box for the plants–oh well.

I also dug up the bed under the kitchen window; I have a random stand of monkey grass in the far corner of the yard that I think I will transplant, just for fun. But then it got hot, and so we came inside. The end.

so THAT’S how you post a picture

These are my buddies (Henry is in the pool, Charlie is lifeguarding). And that’s the horrible horrible porch–it really must go, and soon.

June 11, 2005

books I like (read them! NOW!)

I’m feeling bossy tonight (the result of several days of trying NOT to be bossy at home, which is so very very hard), so here is my Recommended Reading List. Obey the list, and all will be well.

The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje (yes, we ALL saw the movie, but READ THE BOOK)

Schindler’s List by Thomas Keneally (again, for the love of god, READ THE BOOK)

Charming Billy by Alice McDermott (ha ha, no movie! read! NOW!)

At Weddings and Wakes, also by Alice McDermott (while you’re at it)

Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood (this SHOULD have a movie, with Cate Blanchett as Grace, but it doesn’t so READ THE BOOK)

EVERYTHING by Jane Austen (lots of movies, but only Persuasion and the very very long Pride and Prejudice, with Colin Firth in his skivies, are worth it)

Persuasion by A. S. Byatt (again, SKIP THE MOVIE, read the book)

That is all. Now get thee to a library (or to the Full Circle Bookstore) RIGHT NOW.

June 10, 2005

do NOT say anything bad about Kenmore, I’m begging you

I’ve spent the last couple of days taking care of things around the house. Or, more precisely, paying for other people to take care of things around my house. The Lawn Guy came yesterday, the Housekeeper came this morning, I’ve picked out paint for the living and family rooms (an Eddie Bauer color called ‘Slice’) and I bought this fantastic dishwasher. Do I like the dishwasher? you ask. Well, I don’t know yet, since Sears (yes, I will name them) SCREWED UP THE DELIVERY of the fab new dishwasher. It’s at the store, not in my garage, so I cannot call the plumber to hook it up. Argh.

After I spent the morning talking to, oh, every Sears employee in two states, and we all agreed that yes, I asked (and PAID!) for the dishwasher to be delivered TO MY HOUSE, and yes, it was delivered TO THE STORE, and yes, it needs to be delivered TO MY HOUSE and yes, Sears needs to arrange this, pronto–after all that, the Merchandise Pickup people at (guess! guess!) Sears JUST CALLED ME to say that my dishwasher is ready to be picked up AT THE STORE.

Oh for the love of pete.

So my house is clean, my lawn is mowed, I am ready to start interviewing painters–but I’ll be washing dishes BY HAND until some time next week.

At least it’s Friday.