June 29, 2005

the unbearable rightness of being me

Yeah, blah blah blah, I’m boring and lazy–whatever. I also have a hard time GETTING TO THE POINT (see why I never finished my dissertation???). I was still mulling the whole what-do-I-do-all-day question this afternoon (while running my errands ALONE and wishing, oh just wishing, that SOMEHOW our budget could include a new laptop with wireless access–do you KNOW how great that would make my boring lazy life?)–anyway, as I said, I was still thinking about this whole mommy thing when it hit me: I’m fine with lazy. I’m fine with boring.

What irks me is ALWAYS BEING RIGHT.

Example: Henry had a long day of not remembering simple things, like, we don’t put our feet on the table while we’re eating. You know, the usual. So I spent the day saying, oh so nicely, feet go under the table! when we’re eating, we keep our feet under the chair! where should your feet be? can you put your feet back under the table? I see your feet again! feet go under the table! And so on. (This is, by the way, an EXACT recreation of my part of our dinner conversation. I swear.)

As we were winding down and getting ready for baths and bed, I suggested that Wade think about bathing the boys SEPARATELY, because Henry was having a hard time remembering simple things like feet go under the table! and he might do better in the tub by himself, without any distractions (actually, I just said, ‘You might want to think about separate baths tonight.’ I had ALREADY explicated Henry’s tough day in what seemed to me to be PLENTY of detail. Oh, and there was that whole charming interchange about the feet! the feet! during dinner, which Wade witnessed firsthand).

In his wisdom, though, the father of my children put both boys in the tub together, and lo and behold, Henry hit his head on the faucet no less than THREE times, because he couldn’t remember, I don’t know what, not to swing his head around like a bobblehead doll, I guess (I was in the kitchen drinking–um, I mean doing the dishes. Yes, the dishes). With each successive thumping, Wade got more and more annoyed (because really, it IS annoying, what with all the head banging and subsequent whining and moaning)–and, oddly enough, SO DID I. Not because Henry was killing valuable brain cells or damaging the plumbing, but because I WAS RIGHT. Again. And I just hate that.

It’s not so much the being right that I hate, it’s the pressure to always be right. I love the moments when I say, ‘Try this or this,’ and Wade says, ‘I did it; it didn’t work, so I did the other thing and it was great.’ Such a relief to not be the one with the answers! And sadly, so rare. And recently, to really make me feel like I’m carrying Mt. Everest on my wee shoulders, EVERY SINGLE ONE of my crackpot theories about Henry has been confirmed by a medical professional. So ha ha ha! I was right! And you wonder why I drink.

I’m tired of being right, so instead I’m just going to be fun (and maybe drunk). Because being right sucks (but lazy and boring? Now THAT’S a good time!).

June 27, 2005

I’m SO happy it’s Monday

Okay, wow, I’m back, after a long week (sumburns! for everyone!) and an even longer weekend (Henry had stomach flu! Guess who was laying down in the bed with him when he started throwing up? I LOVE BEING THE MOMMY!)

I feel certain, however, that this skirt will make it ALL BETTER.

June 20, 2005

my god it was a busy day

Wow! I had no idea I had such great Internet shopping advisors! You guys rock! I’ll let you know what I find.

First, though, I’ll tell you why I’m shopping (no, it’s not JUST because I really REALLY deserve something nice, although I do)–Wade and I are going to Santa Fe in July, for a little Romantic Getaway. We did this last summer, for our tenth anniversary, and it was GREAT–we wandered around the plaza and looked at impossibly expensive art and jewelery, and spent a couple of hours at the Georgia O’Keefe Museum, and then, at two in the afternoon, Wade said, ‘So, wanna go to Coyote Cafe and have a drink?’ Three drinks later, and I was announcing to anyone who asked, ‘Hey! I’m on vacation! Without my kids! And I’m drunk! In the middle of the day! Whoo hoo!’ It was fantastic.

It was so fanstastic, in fact, that Wade has mandated that we do it EVERY YEAR. So for two days in July, we will be ditching the boys with my parents and heading off to debauchery. But THIS YEAR, to up the ante, Wade has proposed that we go to the opera. I don’t know anything about opera per se, but I do know that The Santa Fe Opera is one of the most beautiful places in the world. Wade actually KNOWS opera (have I mentioned what a geek he is? I’m pretty sure his ENTIRE IPod playlist is classical music. Geek) and he was able to tell me all sorts of smart things about the opera we are hoping to see (was I listening? No. I was thinking, Oooh, what will I WEAR? And thus the skirt.)

So you are helping me shop for a sexy getaway with my hot husband. Have I said thank you?

In other news . . . .

Here is how much I love my children: tonight I gave up thirty precious minutes of my life to watch a special prime-time episode of JoJo’s Circus. I just hate this show. In the first place, it’s about CLOWNS, and I have an UNRELENTING fear of clowns (I’m serious–we went to a Clown Birthday Party recently, and I tried to hide in the kitchen. When that didn’t work, I sat off in a corner and hid my eyes. The clown was named Hillbilly Willy. He looked like a pedophile. I’m not exaggerating). Jojo is also annoying because the songs are inane and the singing is charmingly off-key, which just grates on my nerves. Finally, to add insult to injury, the lessons are so damn nice and so damn relevant that it makes me hate the show even more. How dare off-key CLOWNS teach my kids about kindness and really GOOD family values? (I swear one of the characters has two dads, which we are all in favor of at our house.) It was a hellish twenty seven minutes. BUT–I do love those kids!

And finally, this . . .

Remember how I’ve been whining about my porch? (It IS really really horrible, you can ask my friend Leslie, who I’m sure thinks she is going to pass out every time she comes to play–it’s like a greenhouse, it just traps ALL the heat and humidity for the WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD right outside my back door. On top of that, two of the roof panels are missing, and two others were damaged in a hail storm last spring and leak. Oh, and the wood frame is water damaged AND splintering. AND the concrete is cracked. Let’s see, did I miss anything? No, that’s pretty much it.)

I have been wanting to completely remodel it, and while Wade is not OPPOSED, he is hesitant about my elaborate plans (new frame! new rook! screens! CEILING FANS! TOTALLY NEW FURNITURE! OUTDOOR RUGS! AND A DIAMOND RING FOR ME TO WEAR WHILE I BOSS THE CONTRACTOR AROUND!) Well, this weekend I had a great (read: virtually free) idea. Why not take our existing table and chairs out to the far end of the yard and PUT THEM IN THE SHADE? Where it’s NOT SO HOT? We tried it, and it’s AWESOME. We have a nice, shaded patch of fescue grass, and room to plant more fescue, and it’s cool and shady and quiet. The down side? Since the whole area is SHADED, it is also home to various birds, and our table is now a nice big poop target. Which is just yucky.

But today I had a great solution–I think I’m going to buy this fabulous canopy (complete with mosquito netting!) and turn our otherwise rather icky fescue patch into a Serene Retreat (or at least a less expensive alternative to remodeling the horrible porch). I’m so excited! I’ll let you know how it turns out.

Whew. It was a big day here, for a Monday! I need to put my feet up and drink some wine now.

June 18, 2005

what we did today

Today we took our Play-Doh outside (because, really, why not?) It was sunny and 80-ish and not raining or humid or . . . well, nothing like Oklahoma. And we made teeny tiny dinosaurs and birthday cakes and then I said goodbye and went shopping ALONE for an hour. It was perfect.

Sadly, I didn’t buy anything. (Although if you have ANY sort of clue where I might find a black silk A-line skirt in, oh, the next two weeks or so, that would really really help. For under $50.00, preferrably. That’s all.)